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Nashville Scene's You Are So Nashville If...

For the 19th straight year, Nashville Scene has polled its readers and asked what kind of city Nashville is. The results are in: "A city where English is the native tongue, not that you can always recognize it. A city where strip clubs and churches rub shoulders and whatnot, and you can find 'em both if you turn left at Shoney's. A city where the yellow light means go, and the red light means go faster...."

The winners...

FIRST PLACE
You saw Kenny Chesney in a Kroger reading Out & About. —Michael Williams

SECOND PLACE
You accuse Al Gore of hypocrisy for exhaling carbon dioxide. —James H. Williams

THIRD PLACE
You're bummed out by the fact that you won’t be able to smoke at your workplace, which sucks because you’re a topless dancer with a serious meth habit. —Dave Weil

And some of the best of the rest...

You saw that Ted Nugent was booked at the Ryman and wondered just what the hell that place is supposed to be the Mother Church of now. —Chris Hudson

You wonder why West Nashville is south of East Nashville. —Dave Weil

You know more members of the band, than members of the audience. —Fred Ramos

You remember when you could just say something, and no one would write a song about it. —Gary Wayne Davis

Your favorite church is on Gay Street, and your favorite bar is on Church Street. —Jeffrey Dean

A corner of your driver's license is cut off because you needed an emergency guitar pick. —Kristen Colby

You get shhhhh-ed standing outside of The Bluebird Cafe. —Mary Sack

You open a music venue and spend all your money on the menu and decor because you know you won't have to pay the performers. —Roger Spencer

Learn all about Nashville at NashvilleScene.com.


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