In Memory of Amy Yessian—A Special Message, Tribute and Requestby Jack Hayford, DurangoSong.comI met two of my now best friends in the world, Jim Attebery and Jimmy "Muffin" Yessian, ten years ago at the Durango Songwriters Expo. It was the first Expo that Jim produced. It was a life-changing weekend for me (and many others). Muff and I met shortly after we both arrived, in the bar of our first Expo home, the Tamarron Resort in Durango—watching baseball before the event got underway. Muffin is a life-long, die-hard, New York Yankees fan. Ditto for me and the Boston Red Sox. The Yanks were in the playoffs so there we were, each with our own agendas so to speak, watching the game. "Choke you S.O.B's," is what I was probably saying. "1918" is probably what Muff threw back at me. That started our friendship and musical relationship. It was an awesome event, as is now the standard for the Expo. There is so much we all remember about that first conference. It happened that when we left, Muff and I were on the same plane back to L.A. We were at the baggage claim when I first met Amy, Muffin's wife. They had been together forever and so having become so friendly already with Muff, naturally I fell right in with Amy too. We did many things, and shared many wonderful moments, the three of us, over the last ten years. And the baseball rivalry grew, although I was out-numbered 2-1. Amy LOVED the Yankees too. That alone kept us always calling and talking shop. We talked music shop too. Muffin is a really fine and sensitive songwriter. Amy was his biggest champion. We always talked about Jimmy's songs. We had our love of "Muffsongs" in common even more than baseball. That, and I loved her laughter, her great sense of humor. Amy and I always agreed that "All My Heart" was one of Jimmy's sweetest and best songs. I liked it so much that I took out a piano arrangement of it and started performing it, occasionally singing it with Muff playing guitar, here and there. About two years later Amy's step-dad who I had also met in Florida, passed away. She took it hard. We talked about it a bunch because I had just lost my Dad too. At the very next Expo, after the "guitar-pull" on Friday night, I grabbed Amy by the hand and walked her up the winding staircase at the Tamarron to the baby grand piano they had stationed in the lobby. I said, "I have something for you, and your dad." And I played and sang my version of "All My Heart." She cried. I might have cried too. She gave me a kiss and thanked me. Here are the words Muff wrote that I sang to Amy: It's the last stop on the line, Sometimes love fades and no one cares Who dealt me this hand? Sometimes I break down and cry I gave you all On November 2 2006 (my mother's birthday), Amy Yessian lost her excruciating battle of 29 months to cancer. We are all still grieving. In thinking about writing this little piece, I recalled that I had an old cassette tape of "All My Heart" that Muff recorded years ago for Greg Dorschel when he was working over at Sony/Tree. I made a quick mp3 out of it. It's the medicine I'm taking for the loss of Amy. Amy gave all her heart to Jimmy. And Jimmy gave all his heart to Amy. Though their life together was cut short by far too many years, it was indeed a special love. Everyone who knows them knows this. Despite their tragic misfortune, they are still the lucky ones, the forever ones. Probably you've never heard "All My Heart." So I'm playing it for you here as our tribute to my great friend Amy and my great friend Jimmy. All My Heart — Performed by Muffin
Here we are at the Key West Songwriters Festival: Amy, me and Muffin. I was singing "All My Heart." I'm still singing it. Jimmy's new "not a wave goes by" is available by clicking here.
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Jimmy's new "not a wave goes by" is available by clicking here.
"Amy and I first climbed the bluffs above Zuma beach after moving from New York to California some years ago in mid November. Amy said it was the most beautiful spot she’d ever been to. As we sat there, eyes wide open taking in the amazing sights, smells, and sounds from the majestic bluffs, a school of dolphins suddenly appeared playing in the white foam waters below us. Amy smiled with a wall of teeth like a little child who had just opened the very Christmas gift she had been wishing for but didn’t think she’d get. We watched the dolphins swimming, appearing and disappearing in the yankee blue waters. We both laughed with joy as I held her in my arms. All that day she could not stop talking about seeing dolphins in the wild, playing right beneath us.
On November 2nd 2009 at 9:40am, exactly three years to the minute when I lost her to cancer, I returned to those bluffs and freed Amy's ashes back to the sand and sea she loved so much. First I put my handprint in the wet sand, then placed her ashes in my palm print and watched as the waves rushed over us. I moved up and down the beach repeating this many times. It felt as though Amy and I were together playing in the sand without a care in the world. I then climbed to the top of the bluffs and buried some of her ashes in a deep hole I’d dug in the sand, along with one of the small Polar Bear figures she had given me and a favorite picture of the two of us. I took the rest of her ashes and let them fly off the bluffs, sailing into the beautiful calling waters. I felt at that moment Amy was finally free and would get to spend eternity in a place she loved.
As I walked back to our '94 Explorer, head down hiding silent tears, a young lady called out and said "Are you watching this"? I said “What"? She pointed below the bluffs where I'd just been. I looked up to see a school of dolphins swimming and playing right where, just minutes before, I'd set Amy free. Her dolphins had returned to escort her on her journey home...."
"I eased my hand into wet sand
part of me rushed out to sea
and in the wake her eyes still shine
not a wave goes by I don't cry"
My love for you will never die, Jimmy